Kat,
It's so good to see you hear, and I think the ups and downs and emotions you're feeling are part of the early recovery process. You will learn how to express your emotions in an appropriate way, you really will.
And, wow, you are sounding like you've come through to the other side and beginning to feel the recovery process in your life. I am so glad you are learning how to protect yourself and take care of yourself, while still taking in what you want to. And, I have found, that one positive change in life, often leads directly to other changes.
I'm proud of you, Kat!