(((Kat)))
You are sounding SO much better. I'm glad you are aware that you need to cry and are weaning yourself from the clonidine. When my mom died, years ago (I wasn't an addict then), everyone tried to give me valium
I KNEW I had to get through my feelings then, or everything would just come back to bite me later, and it would be even worse.
I know praying helps me a lot. There are days, I do it over and over...sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it, since most of my prayers are more like "chats". Early in recovery, I also started saying "Thank you", every time any little good thing would happen or something would make me smile...made me more aware of what I had to be grateful for, and that has helped my recovery a LOT.
I think the antsy feelings are normal, and you are doing very well at working through them.
So glad your mom is there for you, but then she's a pretty special lady with a pretty special daughter!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy