Hi - Welcome to SR - It's a great place... Like Fubar I am the recovering alcoholic. Sounds like your wife has a problem with alcohol, I know, duh...
But also sounds like you have a good perspective, ie, not blaming yourself, looking for answers, help.
Like Fubar said, there is a Friends and Family Section (FandF) here, it's ALL about the issues you bring and there are many spouses of active alcoholics, recovering alcoholics, etc... I strongly encourage you to cut and paste your message and post in that section also. You will get many good, compassionate, and straight talking responses, in both sections, here and in the FandF...
Also, have you considered Al-anon? I will not be the only one with that question
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Glad to have you here, I'm sure you'll get alot of response.
Mark