At the very LEAST, he should be doing IOP and meetings, not just IOP. He has to do EVERYTHING he can to stay clean and be a productive family member and citizen. Also, just because he goes to IOP or meetings, doesn't mean that you can't still require him to do certain things around the house. He has alot to make up to you and those kids Callie. It's not just a "hey, I got clean, throw me a parade" thing. He IS dry and he knows it - he just probably doesn't know that YOU know it.
Reach deep inside you girl and tell him enough is enough. He must work on his sobriety in order to live under your roof otherwise he's dead weight and a financial drain.
My AH went to a meeting the other day and came back and told me the lady speaker said something interesting. She said her husband sat down with her and told her that she was bringing nothing to the table therefore she had to go. AH picked up on that and said "oh, I bet Janet feels the same way" and when he shared that with me....I was like "ya think?" Of course I feel/felt that way. Everything needs to be consistent. You consitently need to wash clothes, you consistently need to work, you consistently need to make sure the kids homework is done and they've had their baths and brushed their teeth, you consistently need to make sure they are at games/practices on time and dressed out. You consistently need to put dinner on the table and do a conzillion other things on a daily basis. He needs to consistently DO SOMETHING and I would say that starts with waking up when the rest of house gets up and planning his day which would include some chores, some recovery related items and bending over backwards trying to make your day a little more managable.
