Hi Callie. You know what I think about this already but I'll post it.
I think he needs to actively be working a program. AA/NA- whatever. I think IOP is a good next move. I think he should have been going to meetings the moment after he walked back in your door. I think he should have found a sponsor, even if temporary, by now. I think at the VERY least, he should be seeing a counselor, preferably a substance abuse counselor because he is going to fall back into his old (and comfortable) ways the first chance he gets. His self-esteen is slipping and the depression is setting and it will overtake him. It will. Being idol, being bored, being depressed and low self-esteem are huge triggers.
Now that your insurance issues are straightened out - HE needs to start making some calls and begin knocking on some doors. He probably qualifies for some type of halfway house or sober living so I would say, if he doesn't start DOING something but ass quick, I'd tell him to go (and not to his mothers house). Draw the line in the sand Callie and don't move it. There is no wiggle room here. You don't deserve the anxiety you are feeling again and you have the power now, within yourself, to do what you need to do. You also need to make time and rearrange your schedule to go to some meetings and start networking with others locally who are like you or have been through simliar scenerios.
We spoke about AH having no qualms about stopping at DQ and indulging on your dime. He has no right to spend your money on such a selfish thing as ice cream. He has not earned that type of "treat". I think he still has alot of hoops to jump through.