I posted this on another members thread who is struggling just like I am.
I was amazed when I was finished writing. I don't want to mis direct that thread so I am posting it here also. Thanks.
Day 9 for me. So glad to be here.
I am amazed that I have stayed sober these 9 days. Through this time I have been as honest as I can be.
I went to detox on March 17th. It was hell for me. The place that I went to wanted me to stay in treatment. I was torn. To escape looked like a pretty good deal to this alcoholic. Let my world go crashing down (again) with me safe and sound in treatment. The conditions were not acceptable. Since the facility was out of network for my insurance, I would need money to get me through. My son (who is 19 and in college offered to help pay) Nope, just couldn't do that. Not his hard earned money for college.
I had to notify my work due to my absence. When I chose to leave treatment, the paper work I had for my employer had to be filled out. In bold black letters all over the paperwork the treatment center had written "left treatment against medical advice." This is true and I had good reasons.
How to deal with this? How to get around this was my first thought. Then I just surrendered. I'm not going to get around this. I will deal with it directly for the first time in a long time. So I did.
Told the employer exactly what was on the paperwork. Scheduled a Dr. appointment. Wow, some self care after only seeking it on an emergency basis.
Started going to AA daily.
I have kept in contact with work. I am being paid my vacation time while I am off. I was level honest with the Dr. I do have some health problems related to my drinking and some maybe not related. I have to follow through with tests.
I need to do a face to face meeting with my boss before I'm put back on the schedule at work. I could make things awful for my self or just let them be.
I realize that I could be fired, no matter how my employers support is on the phone.
Oh well, the most important thing is to stay sober one more day.
Gee, I'm surprised that I rambled on this long on my post.
I'm going to copy it to the thread that I started when I began my new journey.
Thanks for being here!