So what are you going to do now Lucy?
What is going to change?
It doesn't sound to me that you have given yourself a chance to see what being sober is really like and what help treatment could be if you did it sober.
I personally don't buy the not driving drunk thing. You said "Yesterday I showed up late and a little buzzed (why I went to a recovery program buzzed I have no idea) its the addict inside of me."
So you drove there "buzzed" and you were under the influence enough that they noticed. Then you drove away from there. Just because you did not get a DUI this time or other times, does not mean you were safe to drive. and if the 2 DUI's were 10 years ago, wouldn't they be off your record?
No matter, the point is that you are in need of some help and you need to take it wherever offered!
You are so worth this. And you CAN do it. One moment at a time.