wow that is a hard one, i know for myself when i was using my parents had my son and it was no contact till i could straighten up for the safety of my son, physically and emotionally. it wasn't fair to him to come and go even if it was a visitation, because then i started changing times cause i was out trying to get something or whatever like i was sick so it was not scheduled i was to out for myself to have it scheduled i would always change the time like if it would be set at 12 on sundays i would make it maybe 10 percent of the time at that time but usually it was whenever i was done coping my dope. or i would miss because i was "sick" and couldn't get over there till i got something. anyways point being it wasn't fair to my son i was totally selfish to even ask for visitations. it wasn't what was best for my son. my family just told him mommy is sick and its not safe for her to be here right now. i figure he is to young for the talk about adddiction. but each child is diffrent. i had to sit down and really think am i sad and want to make me feel better by seeing my son? is that going to make me feel better? how will he feel when i have to leave again? they don't understand it. just my experience with it. now i am sober and i am a totally diffrent person and i look back and i am sad for the time i missed, yes, but i am glad i didn't visit. i wouldn't know what to do with myself if i would of hurt him in anyway.