BohemiMamaof3

When people ask me about my Abrother, I sometimes wonder what to say.

What do you all say (how much or how little info), some are just casual acquaintances, so it's not meant to be a deep conversation. How do you handle people who have a genuine care and concern?

I ask because one of his old coaches sent me an email thru facebook asking how he was doing because he hadn't heard from him in awhile.

It seems like I have trouble telling people I shouldn't tell, and then choose not to say anything when perhaps I should.

For instance: My Abrother's old college roommate offered to relocate him, and a nice job in his business, on the opposite coast from where we're at. I thought my brother was more or less up front with him about his addictions and recovery. He was not. Early on, I sent this friend an email thanking him for helping my brother, just a general note. I thought to say something like, has he found a good AA group, etc., but then I said to myself, getting into all that is my old codie meddling. Now that my brother has taken advantage of this man and his family, I feel guilty like I should have said something so the man would've been cautious or at least had an honest assessment.

So I suppose I'm asking 2 questions along the same vein:

What do you say to the various people that say "how is your a-loved-one?"

What do you say to people who are helping them but might also need to be cautious because our a-loved-ones can harm them in various ways (stealing, slander, abuse) relating to their addiction?

Or do you say nothing?