Sister~ This post worries me. First of all toss the rest of those sleeping pills immediately, Please! You don't need me to tell you what a disaster waiting to happen pills can be.
Okay, you say you are the one everybody turns to and the one who takes care of everybody. Well Hon, you need to take care of yourself! I understand it's hard to do specially when we are in "self-destruct" mode. I know I get in moods where I feel that I'm always there for everybody else but nobody is ever there for me. Times when I take care of my Husband and Children and forget about myself. Those are the times when I'm most miserable.
Do you have any idea what it is you want to escape? Question, and I hope it doesn't sound f*cked up when I ask it. Do you think you want to do this to finally have someone worry and take care of you the way you do for them? Does that question make sense?