The medical director at the rehab I was at described it as... "A big gaping hole in the soul through which the cold north winds blows..."
The solution is to turn to God, or a higher power, to fill that awful hole.
It is a spiritual journey.
BTW, stop blaming yourself. My mother and I are somewhat estranged. It would be easy for me to blame my addictions on her... she first passed me a joint when I was 12 yo. Alcohol, parties, etc... But I don't blame her, in fact I will need to make amends to her when I am ready. She didn't cause my disease. She can't cure it.
I am 6 months Clean and Sober. 51 years old.
Last edited by Mark75; 03-21-2009 at 08:09 AM.
Reason: misspelled word