Some Wednesday ESH (I hope)
It's Spring Break here, and my daughter had a gift card for a store at a mall, so I scraped up the money for gas to drive the 140 miles (round trip) to the mall today.
I think a lot while driving and I thought some on what Ago has shared elsewhere in this forum, about how your attitude colors everything else in your life (I'm paraphrasing). He is absolutely dead on right. No, things aren't great right now, I'm struggling with bit jobs and there while still looking for full time work, there is still no closure with my AH, etc.
But, for today there wasn't a thing I could do about those things, so I put them out of my mind and concentrated on what a glorious day it was. Warm and sunny, and I had two fun and beautiful teens with me, listening to music and talking.
I try to do this everyday, even when I'm sitting here reading yet another rejection email from a job posting, or worrying about if I have any insurance on a vehicle that's not in my name. It's hard.
My AH said of me in our last counseling session, "She just ignores things she doesn't want to deal with." He was partly right, I do try to ignore things that I cannot control, if they make my gut churn and make me sick with worry. There are many things we don't have control over in life. I think being able to stop the worry is a good thing.
So, some things that I've been working on lately, that are working:
God, I'm so so very grateful for everything. And I do mean everything. I've learned a LOT about me thanks to my AH and the situation I found myself in.
A positive attitude is key, you must keep your heart light. ie: "Oh no what am I going to do with this toothache, no money etc. Oh look at that sunset! It's glorious!" It's not all about us, and we have to resist the temptation to wallow in our misery...I do at least.
Life has painful moments, learn from them.
Reach out to people, they are your best investment.
And...always remember that you aren't alone, or unique. This has all been written before by others. I take comfort in the many who have gone before me down this path and lived life fully as a result. This is an opportunity, not a dead end.