I have wished for years she could see the light and we can move on to a happy place. That is the enabler in me, seeing something that isn't there and listening to the lies.
On Sunday I asked her how this looks to our 12 year old daughter. She will soon be dealing with peer pressure and if she were to turn to drugs or alcohol how can we hold the high ground and ask her to let us help when my AW can't even let me help? She has to set the lesson that while it is hard to let people help you, ultimately you have to let them.
Later on I talked to my daugther. She and I talk often about mom's problem. I told her this is what happens when you won't let the people who love you help you. Take this to heart, learn from mom's mistake. If she were to ever have struggles let us help her, be open to our love and realize we just want to help her. I got the "sure, what ever Dad" tweener response, hehe.