I have not had good experiences with Al-Anon or Alateen. I haven't tried ACOA.
I don't support the eternal 12 step model for family members of alcoholics and addicts. (If the 12 steps worked for you on this issue, please don't flame me. I fully support anyone using anything that works for them. It just didn't work for this issue FOR ME.)
For my ACOA issues, I've had good experiences with therapy. You might want to try a therapist.
I used AA to recover from alcoholism, so I'm not anti-12 steps. I just don't find the 12 Steps that useful for family members, who are more sinned against than sinning. I find that most family members are loving, normal people who are responding as best they can to an abnormal situation created by the alcoholic or addict. While their behavior and emotional response can be warped by the situation, there isn't any underlying flaw in them that makes them "sick" in any sort of permanent way. I think the emphasis on the family members' inventory can be used by alcoholics and addicts in very unhealthy ways to blame the family for their own substance abuse.
Your reaction to the overt religious/spiritual practices of Al-Anon is pretty normal.
Early AA had a very high premium placed on spiritual practices (prayer, daily meditation, confession). Al-Anon was created to allow family members, (wives, mostly) to participate in the 12 step model of spirituality. You can call it a religion or a spiritual practice, whatever you like, but it was designed to let the family members share in the new AA members' experience with God/Higher Powers, prayer and meditation.