hi - i read a lot on sr but don't really post much - i really just wanted to add a different perspective - some *program talk* so to speak and the perspective of a sister of a crack addict who's 2 children i had custody of for a while when she wasn't able to care for them (it's her 40th birthday next week and i'm sending some stuff and came accross a picture of 2 years ago almost to the day of her birthday - i was angry that she and her boyfriend chose to spend $75,000 (a settlement) on crack and then just assume i'd say here's your kids you neglected for 6 months - see you later...
i had every right to talk to whoever i wanted about MY reality - HER addiction made it a part of MY life - probably similarly to you and your parents - addiction is a selfish disease but it's also a family disease - your addiction has an affect on lots of people - part of the consequences of your actions are living with the truth of the people you've hurt through your drug use - but you're only as sick as your secrets - now that the truth is out you can get well - you don't have to hide anymore - it must be painful to feel the shame but it's only a feeling - you'll get past it - just like the resentment you feel for your family - you'll get past it...
everyone in my family just really wanted the best for my sister - but children are the casualties of this - they have no choice - and it breaks my heart - sometimes we have to do for someone what they are not capable of doing for themselves - that's what i told my sister when i made my amends to her while working the steps in my program of recovery - i made my amends to her this christmas - the first time i spoke to her since she and her boyfriend came in the night and picked up her kids 2 years ago - it's been healing for both of us...
we all move past the anger and if you work a program of recovery you can get healthy - i know i have and i had no addiction to any physical thing - just an addiction to martyrdom and trying to control all the people, places and things in my life - i now know i have no control over others and what they do in their lives - i can only control myself and my reaction to what happens in my life - just like anyone else in the world...
i just wanted to offer a different perspective - good luck - *it works if you work it*...
s