Okay, I had to read through your post a couple of times, and make sure I understood that you did have a couple of one-on-one sessions with the marriage counselor with that 5 week break.
She definitely threw you a curve ball from what you had previously discussed with her one on one, and you have a right to trust your feelings/gut.
I want to share with you an experience with a counselor I had when my youngest was 15. This was during a period when all sorts of red flags were going up, she was depressed, cutting on herself, hooking up with older men behind my back, and I was frantic. We started joint counseling with a gal who had been recommended by a fellow AA member as this counselor was also in recovery and familiar with family issues.
Naturally my then 15 year old daughter was sullen and not very cooperative, but the counselor worked very hard at trying to get her to look at her pattern of the inappropriate relationships with older men, and that there was something wrong with older men who were picking up with under-aged girls. She was also trying to work with her depression issues, and our primary care physician had started her on some antidepressants.
As things escalated, my daughter started seeing a 24 year old jerk, I ended up having to call the police one day to get him off of my property, and was understandably upset beyond description. My daughter had a counseling session a few days later-there were times she went by herself so she didn't have me in the room so maybe she would open up more, and I called the counselor ahead of time to fill her in on what had happened.
I picked my daughter up from school for counseling that day, came back an hour later, and as I was driving her back to school, she turned to me and said the counselor told her I just needed to 'lighten up' and let her start seeing this guy, that maybe she didn't have any issues and was just going through the rebellious stage, and you can imagine how livid I was! I tried very hard to keep my cool, was thinking maybe my daughter was blowing smoke up my butt, and decided to go back and confront the counselor after I dropped my daughter off at school.
I went back and demanded to see the counselor. She took me back to her office and I asked her if what my daughter had told me was true. She told me yes and I completely lost it right then and there. I told her that all those weeks of hard work of trying to get my daughter to see what predators those guys were, and she undid it in one session! I ran out of there crying.
I think it is no small coincidence that was also her last day at work as she was moving back home to take care of her elderly parents. I guarantee I would have gone to whoever I needed to had that not been her last day for doing what she did.
My daughter did run away shortly after that in the middle of the night with that 24 year old and ended up as a ward of the state for 17 long months.
Counselors are
not infallible.
Please trust your gut.