Glenna, I know how you feel. When it's been so long since you felt good about your situation, it's hard to come across good feelings and let them just happen. Part of it for me was fear of relapse (he hasn't drank since Jan), another part was that the 'drama' of drinking was gone (i.e. the fights the next day, the anxiety of knowing the weekend was coming). It's tough to let my guard down and just try to enjoy my day and fix things with him without the dark cloud creeping in. The last part was my fight between feeling better about him but also remembering all the negative things he put me through. It is getting better, but I think it all just takes time, and of course, seeing both of us continue active recovery.