SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

03-15-2009, 08:16 PM

# 4 (permalink)

serenityqueen

Attitude of Gratitude

Join Date: Sep 2007

Location: Dayton, Ohio

Posts: 2,305

First of all, I feel like you need to realize that each and every one of us lied to our families and friends. I'm saying this so you understand that you are, by far, not the only one who has issues with families not trusting us when we first get clean . . . and our families not believing that we ARE clean. But honestly, can you blame them? How many times have we lied to them, saying that we aren't high, that they need to trust us and all along it was just to cover up what was really going on.

Quote:

I am thankful that I only used for the amount of time I did. I am thankful that I never got beyond pills or beyond 100mg a day.

For some reason, I kept reading this sentence over and over again. Do you really believe that you are an addict? I feel like you are trying to minimize your addiction. I don't understand what you meant by being thankful it never got beyond pills. Pills kill people, Honey! My DOC was pills, but my addiction is no less than if I were shooting Heroin or Cocaine. I'm really confused by this.

Also, what does not going beyond 100 mgs have to do with anything? I've seen you post this 100 mg thing before. I've always wondered why people think that the mg of a drug is relative to the strength of the drug. There's Motrin 800mg, then there's Morphine 8 mg. The Morphine 8 mg is by far a great deal stronger than the Motrin 800.

Nallabelle, I don't want you to think that I am picking on you or anything. I've just read several of your posts and I feel like you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, admit that you are an addict, and just because you didn't use anything other than pills or more than 100 mg, your disease is just as serious as someone who shoots Heroin. As far as your family believing in you again and trusting you, that's going to take time. I will never forget when I told everyone in July of 2005 that I was done, I will never use again. You can imagine how I felt when every single person just said things like, "Yeah, right, I've heard this so many times before. I'll believe it when I see it." Actions speak louder than words. I can see where your husband doesn't believe that the $20 was for an old drug debt. If you felt so strongly about paying this person back, you need to be honest with your husband before you lie to him again.

I really do hope that you are clean and begin to work a Program so you don't pick up again. My son was born addicted to "just pills" and trust me, you never, ever want to see a tiny baby go through that hell ever! Talk about having guilt and shame.

If you aren't already going to Meetings, I highly encourage you to. I truly believe that while addicts can stop using and not pick up without support systems, I don't feel they/we can move into Recovery until we begin to deal with our issues.

God Bless,
Judy