gneiss

Saw a friend the other day I have not seen in almost a year. She has a 4-year-old son. Of course she and her hubby do lots of pretend stuff with him, but some of the games are spilling over into everyday life, and he's getting some of the games and church lessons mixed up. She was in town with kiddo the other day and he announced to everyone he saw for about 30 minutes "Daddy's a monster!! Jesus doesn't love him!!"

My parents let me down in the guidance department. One thing I heard pretty much every day, whenever I would express a difference of opinion with my mom, was "You just think you're smarter than me. You don't know what you are talking about." I am working on a masters' in a technical field. I hear my friends tell me and other people all the time how intelligent I am. People routinely seek me out for help on homework or tutoring in classes. Guess what? I feel like a moron. I never speak up because I always feel like I'll be wrong. Mostly I have the right answers, but I never feel like I'm right. And now I know I'm smarter than my mom. But I guess knowing it and feeling it are two different things. I have become pretty adept at pretending I have self-confidence though, on the occasion I need it. At home, with a special needs sister, I was expected to not have any problems. I was always second place to my sister, her needs always came first, and any problems I had were subject to what she wanted or her current temper tantrum. So when I had a problem I just figured it out on my own, I can't take anyone's advice to this day and it kills me to ask for help on anything.