Originally Posted by
cessy68 
I haven't ONCE waiverd saying that everything is peachy keen. I'm simply saying that RIGHT NOW, there isn't outward signs to the kids, friends, family, coworkers that there is a problem.
Keep reading my posts, perhaps you could surprise me - by showing me where ONCE i've said any different.
The only friends who know are the ones I TELL!
Sorry, I don't believe that for a second. I'm sure you do your very best to keep people from knowing, and to protect your kids, but no one can hide the sort of behavior you described.
I always knew that when my dad "fell asleep" in front of the tv, it was from alcohol.
When my parents argued after they thought I was asleep, I could still hear them on the other side of the house. Even I thought I could at least protect my younger brothers from such things, but no amount of distraction could.
What's more, YOUR behavior is affecting the kids at LEAST as much as the addict's behavior. My mother's attitude toward life (which developed in response to my dad's behavior) affected me WAY more than my dad's drinking.
Unfortunately, while your intentions are good, your instincts are dead wrong.
The absolute WORST thing that a family that contains an addict can do is NOT talk about it. When everyone knows something is wrong, and no one is allowed to talk about it, or is told "nothing" is going on, THAT will drive a person crazy much quicker than the supposedly mild addict behavior you have described.