Bostonluv, I have been where you are, and wanted to clean up for many years. I stayed addicted to opiates for 10 yrs. I always had an excuse for myself. I had no medical, my job, my back hurts, or whatever. Part of me wanted to get straight, and the other part of me didn't want to do the work. It wasn't until I finally got so sick and tired of going to doctors, who never gave me enough of them anyway, and weird looks and arguments from pharmacists, not to mention the feeling of betrayal towards my poor innocent husband who never knew, that I decided to do the work. I anticipated this awful withdrawal, which was mostly in my mind. For me it was much easier than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong it was no bed of roses, and alot of cravings in the early stages of recovery. Sometimes if you just give it a shot, you might realize that it's not as bad as you think. When I finally stopped, I was so happy to be free, I was proud of myself. From what I have heard, and understand Oxy's are tough to get off of. You should consider some professional advice. There is so much help out there for drug and alcohol addiction, and it can be kept anonomous. If you have no coverage or money, there are some treatment centers that will guide you for free. Or depending on your income charge a few dollars a day. I'm routing for you. I know how tough it is. I wish you the peace and freedom of being drug free. Angel :ghug3