Bob - I don't think your situation is unique at all. There are groups around my area where the car you drive seems to be of more importance to your "sobriety" than actually getting recovered. I don't have much more than a passing relationship with these people.
Also - a lot of people were very bad off...no money, cars, women (or men)...all the things that society uses to make one feel better or worse...the Have's and Have-Not's if you will. It isn't too far of a stretch for one who gets over their alcohol problem, find out they CAN be a good employee, start making some money and use that as a barometer of the quality of their life. It can be as consuming as active alcoholism - behind a curtain of "GOOD" (ie - life is GOOD on the outside so it MUST be on the inside...lol).
I have never gotten that sense from you - I think your values are firmly planted and your struggles will pay off more in the long run. Not your monetary struggles - but the struggle you have tying what YOU value as true and important vs the people you find yourself surrounded by. It can be lonely, and I think it's ok to recognize the pain you feel - but you also need to get rid of it. Rob had some good and practical advice on that.
Take care
~a