Wow! What a night you've had already. I'm sorry you are unable to have a rational adult conversation with him even after all this time sober.
I read back through your recap of the argument to look for the subtext of things. He definitely doesn't want to see you upset. He probably got so bent out of shape because he knows your upset because of him. (Whether you are not doesn't matter when he's going to make it about him anyway)
I'm reading that when the argument is directed at you, he does just fine expressing all the venom he's got, but when the accusations start to come back around to him (even if it's only the accusations he has in his head) he says, "I don't want to talk to you."
To me, that's code for "I don't want this to be my fault." (put a drink in his hand and you're right back where you started)
When he walked out the door, the attention was on him.
When you walked out, you put the attention on you, and he was compelled to say that you didn't really have to leave.
You know what the quacking is now. You did what you needed to do address the quacking. Unfortunately, 2 yrs and 6 mos doesn't really change much for some people.
Part of his recovery, if he is actually working one, is to deal with healthier ways of communicating to you. If he is refusing to do that, then he's not really trying to change after all.
Again, I'm so sorry you're in this drama swamp. Please use the frustrated energy you have to push you to finish sorting your things and moving forward.
I'm rooting for you full force! Go tatullah, Go tatullah!
Alice