These days I try my best to stop a person mid -sentence or even mid- syllable if I think their words are harmful. It's a boundary I work hard to keep. I'll admit that what your former boss did made me very angry- somewhat because it was a trigger to my own experience but mostly that a professional person violated the trust of a client.
I have to say that if I had of seen this coming at all, I would have stopped her. It was so quick, like she had sat on the info for years and knew there would be an opportunity to tell me. Thank you for this advice CMC -- I am going to adopt it as a boundary as well. I have had things like this come up (not quite this bad!) so that is a great way to deal with it.
With all that I have going on right now, I'm going to "bracket" the information to deal with after my conference is over. But I will be dealing with it. I'm considering reporting her to the "College of Social Workers" for breaching that client confidentiality.
i'm sure that news FELT like a fatal blow. and you were bound to have a reaction. but remember, you are always in control of how you act upon your thoughts and feelings. telling him YOU know doesn't fix or change a thing. and he can't undo it. say he's sorry, oopsie my bad. just another damn good reason why you are separated.
It did feel like a blow -- I don't know about fatal lol!! I don't care what he does -- he can't say sorry, fix or change it or undo it. You're right, IT IS another great reason to be separated. I just want him to know that I'm no fool. Is that codependent or legit?