Having been told I must not drink alcohol for medical reasons, I told myself I could just drink in moderation and it would be okay. My attempts to moderate were absolutely the worst time of my life. I've been through a lot in my life. Stuff that no one should have to endure. And still, trying to moderate my drinking was the worst time in my life.
That said, I'm not sure that I would have accepted that I was an alcoholic if I hadn't tried and failed so miserably and repeatedly. I think it would be pretty terrible to go through life saying you're an alcoholic and you can't drink without being certain of that fact. The completely and utterly undeniable character of that fact for me is what makes my surrender to recovery bearable. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm saying is that if I didn't really, really know without a shadow of a doubt, that I was an alcoholic - I wouldn't be able to fully participate in my recovery program. I would always have those tiny seeds of doubt.
Another thought comes to my mind: I heard someone's story the other day. He told of drinking gallons of vanilla extract because he'd sworn off liquor. I have known another person who drank NyQuil, convinced he was abstaining.
Our alcoholic minds are tricky.
I wish you well. I hope you find that you can be in social settings and drink a beer or two and leave it at that. I hope you find that during the days and when you are at home alone, you do not obsess about alcohol and you go about your life with alcohol in its proper place - a liquid that provides for conviviality and a bit of gentle, harmless fun occassionally with a friend or two. Keep us posted, if you think of it.