blessed, for your own sake you have to start assuming that the man you married - the one who was good to you - is gone, and is not coming back. He doesn't "get" you wanting to heal and be happy. What more do you need to know?
I too was in a relationship that escalated into abuse. And he was just the swellest guy ever, until he cracked my cheekbone and threw a cinderblock through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it.
Never underestimate the damage that anger, repressed pain, and sexual frustration can do.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and please (as you've been told countless times here) stay safe.
