Thank you all. We talked a little tonight. He was angry that I am continuing to go to Alanon, and thinks that I am just going because I'm mad that he quit drinking for 4 weeks (thus proving he's not an alcoholic). I didn't even try to explain.....what's the point? I did say to him, "I'm going for ME, and I plan to continue". He restated that I must be upset to find out that he's not an alcoholic. I told him that really wasn't for me to decide, but I had to go for ME, because MY thoughts and behavior had gotten out of control.
He doesn't get it, and that's okay. I'm keeping my distance, cell phone in pocket. I'm not making any excuses for what he has done.....reading back over it I see how deplorable it was.
recoverycoach.....I don't see myself as a victim at all. That would make me weak and helpless. I spent WAY too long there, and that is why I am investing my time (and well-spent money) in counseling, Alanon, and here. I take FULL responsibility for my part in the dynamics of our relationship. Unfortunately it took me 21 years and 4 kids to get there. I believe the people here have nothing but the safety of me and my kids at heart, and I appreciate the feedback.