My heart is heavy today. I am sad.
I don't want to have a whole day of mourning, so I've decided I'm going to have an hour of mourning.
I'm typing and crying and getting it out.
You give yourself as much time as you need. It is part of the process and you are handling it well.
My girlfriend is a social worker. She is the one that reminds me to fully experience each of my emotions. It is the healthy process of grieving the loss of my marriage relationship. She also reminds me not to try and shorten the mourning stage, get it all out, all of it, don't put it off. (She knows, her 18 year old son was killed).
She also reminds me to get all the anger out. Punch pillows, yell, and scream. Don't keep that anger bottled up inside.
When I am feeling really lonely and hurt, she reminds me it could be worse. I usually feel lonely and hurt when I think about how my AH is not feeling the feelings I want him to feel about myself and the children. So here I am rolling in sorrow for my circumstances and crying and blubbering on the phone; and she tries to get me to see how it could be worse? wtf?? Now this next part may seem odd, but it works for me. The last visual she gave me went like this:
Yes, he is out partying and not thinking of you. But it could be worse. He could be out raping little girls and saving panties as trophies. At least you don't have that to deal with....
As gross as that is, as disgusting as that is, it makes me want to vomit; BUT at least my life is not as bad as all that! It works!
You keep feeling your feelings and ride them out. You are doing a powerful thing to live your life to the fullest.