firestorm090

Today is day 16 without a drink.

I can't sleep, am obsessing with cleaning and staying busy, I sit here reading and posting for hours sometimes, and I feel totally off-balance inside.

I am grateful that the cravings have stopped bothering me as much, and I have much more energy than I've had in a long time, but for some reason it bothers me. I keep wondering, ok, when will all of this turn back to the way I felt for so many years. I know it sounds crazy, but I've been bummed out for so long that not being bummed out is rather disturbing. Crazy stuff.

Would someone just smack me upside the head, because here I am, whining about feeling good, like I lost my right to feel good many years ago. All kidding aside, there's something wrong with that. Geez, why can't I just enjoy having a good life, why do I want to escape into booze and screw my life up again. Any shrinks in this group, cause I sure need one.

Thanks for letting me ramble.