naive

t’s 6AM here and I’ve been up since ABF came home at 3AM, on my new schedule of sleeping while he’s away drinking and being awake to prevent the fire from his cigarette dropping/drunk cooking. it’s a crummy solution but it will have to do until I can leave, at least I know I’m safe.

ABF drank for 10 hours today. He got paid £300 yesterday and gave me nothing. He’s mad now because I told him I’m going to sell my car and get my own flat. He said that was unfair and I explained that it was merely a matter of survival at this point, I wasn’t doing it to be mean to him.

He then tried various forms of manipulation, to talk me out of selling the car. The car has been sitting idle for 2 months because he says he can’t afford the insurance (£45/month) He said if I sell the car, he won’t speak to me, his brothers won’t speak to me, and if he sees me destitute in the future, he won’t help me. He then said that the flat was his and that if I sold the car, he would throw me out.

At one point today, he went out and bought a roast (I’m a vegetarian) and asked how to cook it? I said sear all sides it in hot oil and put it in the oven for 2 hours. He said he couldn’t do that, he didn’t know how. I said, I’ll show you. Then he had a tantrum, put the roast in the freezer and said he was going to give it away if I didn’t cook it. I responded that I don’t eat meat, it didn’t bother me if he gave it away.

Later, he tried to convince me that he hadn’t been drinking this week (he’s drank every day except one).

Then he changed tactics, saying he does think of me, see how he brought home some crumpets for me? I looked in the fridge and there were no crumpets. He had bought potato scones by mistake.

It’s all quite insane. I’m organizing myself to leave, hopefully this week. Thanks for letting me get all that out, it helps.

marie