:ghug3
TC, I too can relate to the grieving. In my case it comes AND GOES in waves. I used to be terrified of it as I felt as if my soul were tearing in two. But, I've learned I need to acknowledge my feelings because for decades I deneid and supressed them and used all sorts of coping behaviors instead. It sures saves me trouble to be honest and admit what is really happening.
To Every Thing There is a Season - Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.