Hi Anubus--
welcome back!
It sounds like you have decided to do exactly the same thing you have been doing before.
My guess is you will get exactly the same results (or worse, since this is a progressive illness we're talking about).
Your post about what you decided to do was still all about him and his mother and his fear and his needs. That makes me sad!
I think the novacaine/DUI analogy is very interesting.
It shows you minimizing the seriousness of a DUI.
It shows magcal thinking - that you assume YOUR way of dealing with fear is the example that should impact ABF, and that you asssume to know how he feels, and how he should handle HIS feelings.
By me not having contact with him, and from what his mom said, he may be running scared again now. His mom is not much help, she kinda encouraged him to leave the state and run from the hearing....urgh!!
So him "running scared" is your fault, and him leaving the sate is his mom's fault?? Is this guy a blow-up doll or a living breathing human being? I would be so insulted to know people in my life looked at me this way!! Give the man the dignity to fail or succeed on his own!
Anubus - I'm beggin' ya - just step way off!!!!!!! And have you tried AlAnon yet?
peace,
b