Thank you all for the wonderful replies. I truly appreciate them.
After praying all day and speaking with a minister and 2 church friends, here is what I decided to do. I welcome any opinions, because this is all so complicated, and if I'm doing something wrong then I need to know.
Since I feel he may be chickening out on facing the DUI, he mentioned to his mom that he was thinking about not showing, that I had thrown him into the lion's den, and now abandoned him....I know he is scared to DEATH over this thing. I honestly don't know why, it's only a stupid DUI, no accidant etc, second offense (10 years apart) so WORST case scenerio is 6 months jail....but he is literally scared to death. The minister (who knows BF and the situation), brought out that getting the warrant lifted was a GIANT step for him, which is a very good point (I know, it was forced when I called the police, but regardless, he WAS ready to face it when I was encouraging/helping him). And the church ladies know him too, and they both think that he does WANT to straighten out his life, but is having problems doing it. They do agree that I should not enable him though, so the issue is where to draw the line on enabling versus helping.
By me not having contact with him, and from what his mom said, he may be running scared again now. His mom is not much help, she kinda encouraged him to leave the state and run from the hearing....urgh!! And honestly, he has no friends that he would open up to, I am probably the closest person to him. I am the only person he even confided in about the warrant to begin with. I don't want to see him chicken out. SO, I am going to offer to help him with the DUI ONLY......help, NOT enable, and I plan to make that perfectly clear. Helping as in being there for emotional support (encouraging him that he CAN do it, that it's going to be okay in the end, he'll finally be getting this behind him and going on with his life, etc). If he needs a ride to lawyers, hearings, etc I will DRIVE him, but NOT allow him to use my car etc. As for financial, I haven't decided yet. If he comes up with most of the money on his own for the lawyer, then MAYBE I'll LEND him the rest. If not, then he'll just have to use a public defender, simple as that.
Honestly, he may even refuse my HELP when I lay restrictions on it, but then so be it, I guess I have my answer!
As some mentioned above, I tried very hard to examine my intentions etc. I truly want to see him straighten this crazy 2004 DUI up....I think it will be a heavy weight off his shoulders, and give him some much needed confidance. I am totally NOT trying to control him, or make him love me, or anything like that. I'm moving on with my life, just doing for him what I would offer any friend of mine who was in trouble. I know I can't cure him, but I truly want to see him put this legal thing behind him. If he screws it up again after that, oh well then he has nobody to blame but himself.
Okay...(yikes)....go ahead and sock it to me with replies...lol. Should I call the codie police, or does this sound okay?