Originally Posted by
SoberforME 
hahhahhaa
She's from Florida! Ft Lauderdale. LOL
No she's great! The view is screwed-up from here due to my mood, but we really have a great time together most of the time. She's inspired me to be more than I ever thought possible (including sober). So I don't want to give the wrong impression.
I agree mle-sober, I do take on everything and think it's my responsibility. I'm doing all of this right now because I love comedy and want to make it my job, but it's like building a new business, you have to build it. So I perform and go to improv classes. You're right, the pressure does come from my head and I add it to the outside pressure that I feel.
Most of this is the pressure from M killing herself. I did this after my Mom died, the MUST LIVE LIFE NOW feeling. As if I have to cram all of my living into one day, or a week, or it's all going to go away. One of the many reasons I drank, it shut that voice up and I could be in the moment (even if that moment was cloudy)
Thats understandable. But it doesnt sound like its making you very happy.
You are suppose to enjoy what you do in life. Maybe slow down some. Take it easy. Be easy on yourself and grieve a little?
Its ok to be weak sometimes. You are goin to be so focused on cramming everything you can into one day that you arent even going to benefit the good from it.
And the last paragraph in your OP..LOL I have to say ..I seriously heard a voice naggin in my head as I was reading that. OMG..I have been there so many times. I could never have had the patience to type it all out like that tho.
Ex D called that one. LOL...I am from WPB and I wouldnt have picked up on that. LOL
And yes..Mle is dead on. Look at what you are doing thats good. And to me ..it looks like alot.