LaDita

Hey Sec folks,

It's been awhile since I've been in here but this seemed like the right place to put this. I mentioned this to a friend on here and so I thought I might as well share it with the whole board.
I was wondering, does anyone ever get "Religion Envy"?
I do. For some reason the past year alot of Christians have been coming into my life one way or another and I noticed how HAPPY they seem to be.
I was born without any kind of belief system or religion, instead I have always been an intellectual sort and so I've always had the tendency to THINK and over-analyze too much and I've realized, I'm pretty unhappy!
My way of thinking has never really worked for me all these years.
If I could just have some faith in some invisible God or deity or whatever, I might be alot better off. I used to find happiness and a feeling of wholeness in smoking p-t and drinking, of course, but those don't work for me.
Neither is constantly thinking "If I just had this...if I just had that" or "One day everything will be as it should" as been my M.O. for the better part of my adulthood.
Now I'm not going to rush to the next church or convert myself or anything- I wouldn't know where to begin and I don't believe in Jesus (because honestly I don't know who he is) and I'm bothered alot by the hypocrisy that exists in alot of mainstream religions today.

I know what alot of Twelve-steppers answer to this will be, but my mind has already been made.

I'm just wondering does anyone else get this?