Fortunately, I don't have the ability to stay sad for more than a day, maybe two. I know what I have to do (she doesn't live with me). I will continue to clean and paint and erase her presence from my home. I think it is easier for me that way.
She is struggling. She made the choice to go to rehab in December, jumped into the program, said she was going to do all the right things, and then came home and did some right things and many that were wrong. Hopefully, this time she will stick to the right things. Rehab counselors said, "don't hang with drug using friends". As they are her only friends, she went right back to them. I don't know why someone who has always been surrounded by friends thinks she has trouble making them. She went to meetings, and heard she talked at one for the first time. Following that meeting she had a great weekend spent away from the druggie friends. The next week I found cocaine in her room. I know which way she wants to go, I hope her HP helps her find the strength to do it.
Unfortunately, I do not have my husbands support with respect to her not living at home. I, actually, think my AD wants to go to sober living. She asked for it when she returned from her first thirty days in Rehab in January. My husband saw me crying while sorting through her clothes and said she could come home until college in the Fall. He jsut wants to make sad people (me) happy and is such a softie. I admire him for his compassion but wish he had more of a backbone.
I will struggle on. My husband will continue to be soft (he can't be any other way). My AD will go on her own path. I wish I could tell her which turns to take on her journey but I can't.
It was hard to get up this morning. I need more sleep now. The dreams are terrible. this board, however, is wonderful. The support, hugs, prayers, and just knowing someone is listening brings tears to my eyes and at the same time gives me additional support to continue with what I know I have to do.
P.S. Please excuse the typos! I never have been able to type without making a gazillion mistakes and I hate to proof!