So now that we have written these how do we ensure we push for these in our next /current relationships?
Too often I have found I (and others) ignore these needs until too many have been broken.
Glad others have touched on this...for me it wasn't that I didn't have deal breakers, it was that I didn't enforce the ones I had. I gave another chance, and another, and another...etc.
Now I'm getting better at saying what I mean and sticking to it and enforcing boundaries. Finally.
I'm still married (separated), so this is mostly speculation, but I've been spending a lot of time with friends, sometimes going to dinner or out dancing. In the process I'm running across an entirely different crowd of people than I'm used to. I find myself looking at the kind of guy I would have been attracted to 20 years ago and saying "Yuck". I feel pretty good about that. For me, I really would need to look for those red flags up front -- check for those deal breakers before going any further or getting too involved.