Rehab Recommends
My AD's rehab counselor recommends that after her thirty days that she go to a clean and sober living environment. I agree; things didn't work out for her here at home. She just fell back into drug use. I think I found out about her drug use soon ( I know the signs), called her on it quickly and gave her options (rehab or on the street). I hope a substance free environment works as the only other choice after that is the street. She can't live with me and use.
It is just all so hard though. I cleaned her room and am preparing to paint it white. I figure white is a clean color and her room feels dirty to me (that is where I found the drug kit). I have her cell phone and she gets about a call a day from an old friend asking if she wants to come over and smoke a blunt. I am ready to shoot a text back telling these people to take their blunt and shove it up their #&^). I am sorting through her clothes, getting ready to wash and box them. I am cleaning of her.
I cry through all of this. I remember my little girl. I loved her so much. She was so wanted and so loved. Right now to me all she is just a drug addict. I hope ,someday, I see that little girl again. I think she is still there. I got a glimpse of her, briefly, when she was home for these last few weeks.
It is difficult to come to that place that we must come to; to that place where you know that you have to pull away; that place where you know that you can't help them. I spent all her life taking care of her. I was responsible for everything. Children are helpless and rely upon their parents for everything. I wish I could fix this and it breaks my heart knowing that I can't.