Oh my...I could type for ever on the life with a crack addict. Mine too was smart, funny, never forgot special occasion, charming, beautiful..etc., etc. But honey, he was a CRACKHEAD. Oh but only on "occasion" right? That's how it starts - but it doesn't end there.
Crack will begin to run YOUR life too. I never picked up that pipe though I'm sure he would have loved it if I had - because then he wouldn't have to defend himself or justify his actions.
I loved being with my x too. We had GREAT times together - I loved him so much I could "taste" it lol but I could not and would not continue to put my emotional and physical well being in jeopardy because of something as nasty as crack cocaine (and the behaviors associated with it). Ick.
I knew that I deserved MORE. I knew that our relationship was FAR from normal or healthy. I lost myself and was filled with anxiety, hurt, sadness, anger. I cried, begged, prayed, swore, cussed, promised, screamed, for him to please stop using - but in the end - none of that mattered. I had to make the decision to do what was best for me - and that was to end the relationship and NEVER look back because I knew that I could not and would not spend the rest of my life "waiting" on his addiction to crack to rear it's evil, evil head and take us back down that path again.
Please read and post often....there are others who also had/have that "hope" that you mentioned...I was one of them...but at some point your "hope" becomes "reality" and you realize that nothing changes if nothing changes.
My thoughts are with you.