Welcome and I have to say, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
My AH has been addicted to something just about his entire life. He did get "clean" for a couple of years (he says 10 - I say that's probably not true since I found some medical records) and he had a promising career. He's lost it all and decided to be a crackhead.
Recently (with SR's help), I told him that unless he got serious about his recovery, he had to go - that he could no longer be a part of his daughter's life or mine. Rehab or the street. In the past he's gone to detox - this time he choose rehab.
He went to rehab and is still there.
I see the man I married emerging. He is talking about going back to school, getting involved in my/our church, he is going to do intensive outpatient treatment when he's released and he is talking about the future like I haven't heard in a long time. I am caucsiously (sp) optimistic. I am in my own program and at the very least, looking forward to Me getting healthy again - with or without him.
It's easy to get lost in someone else's addiction but that's just what it is, someone elses. I didn't want to give him the ultimatum I did. I resisted on so many levels because I saw it as abandoning the man I love -- or kicking him when he was down. I resisted and I don't always listen to the help offered here on SR (at least not the first time I hear it) but this ONE time - they were DEAD ON RIGHT. I put a boundary in place and didn't move the line and he's getting help and the future is looking more promising.