Yes it is easier to justify it all in your head, but something worthwhile is never easy.
<big sigh>
He is a good saleman. He knows just what to say and when to say it in order to keep the peace and his life from changing. He likes it just the way it is with everyone not saying a word to him about using and he goes about his merry way as if he were a teenager and not a care in the world.
Is this what I want? No, not at all.
Do I enjoy the time I spend with him? Absolutely
Did I want it to go further? Yup...
Does he? He did, when I didn't. Then when I did it scared him because he knew it would cut into his scheduled events and would be a problem causer for him.
I was/am the diversion that kept him occupied and not using more often and nothing more. If that never changes I will always feel 2nd or last in line. That will be a hurt that lasts much longer than the hurt of letting go today.
He wants the cake, icing, pan, oil, eggs, oven, flour and whatever else involved in eating cake.
"all we have to count upon is TODAY. so it THIS good enough for you"?
Today is good enough for me, but it's not good enough when he does not think there is a problem and will not even recognize it or say the words that I wanted to hear....that held conviction instead of denial.
I'm just going to take care of things I have been neglecting for quite some time and drop the bananas for awhile, they are getting very heavy!!
Oh and you guys on here with all your wonderful wisdom and support
