Originally Posted by anvilhead

what is there for you to QUIT? he's the crack addict, you either choose to be a part of that or not. you've had three years of practice to decide if this is working out for YOU or not. 3 years of dangling yourself out there like a carrot, trying to coax him to quit, or cut back, etc. and in those 3 years he has steadfastly clung to his addiction, defended it, treasured and coddled it. it's not time for HIM to QUIT.

firm we can work with. start reading up on BOUNDARIES, what they are, how they work, and what some good suggested boundaries might be. and keep in mind that boundaries are about US what we will accept and how we will react if our boundaries are not respected. boundaries have NO CONTROL over anyone else but us. we also need to be able to enforce our boundaries. so if one of my boundaries was:

I will not associate with people who are doing drugs. Therefore if i suspect you are high or under the influence, I will remove myself from your presence. Do not attempt to contact me when you are under the influence. If you do call, I will not answer.

notice that boundary does not attempt the CHANGE the other person's behavior, instead concentrates solely on my own conduct.

take a good long moment and assess exactly what you've gotten out of the last three years. do you have a partner? a friend? someone you can rely on at ALL TIMES? some one who is clear headed and able to freely give of themselves to you, without any self induced impediments? i'm guessing you kinda got short changed a bit, by virtue of your removing your stuff and taking leave of this man. all we have to count upon is TODAY. so it THIS good enough for you?