Cassandra,
Nobody can tell you how you "should" feel! That's too bad that the relative decided to make a comment like that. That's too bad that he relapsed, but you are right. It does make him closer to his bottom. My ABF's last relapse was like that. He started to think that he could control his use. I guess he wasn't able to accept how much he needed sobriety. It is like his relapse was inevitible because he wasn't ready to completely give up the pain pills. Those 90 days are not lost. He learned some skills that he can use in the future. Good luck to you. I'm sending prayers your way.