Thank you all for your replies and wonderful support, it is greatly appreciated.
Sophia, thank you for sharing with me....It somehow makes me feel not so stupid for taking all the special memories out of his house. I feel like he doesn't deserve them nor should he actually want to have them lying around reminding him of all the great times we shared together.
That probably seems a bit dramatic but he doesn't have to hide me, he loves to show me off, so he should replace our pictures with his little home made crack pipe. I know that sounds very bitchy of me, hurt people hurt people, and yes, I wanted him to feel the pain of his choice.
MyJoey, thank you for your welcome and guess what? He's my Joey too.
I'm not sure I am going to jump ship just at this moment...I've did alot of praying for guidance as to what needs to be done. 2 nights ago we lay in the bed, his hand was on top of mine and he was sound asleep...I prayed for quite awhile for God to help him and help me make a decision and stand by it. God led me to take my stuff and leave, but I did not leave mad nor did I leave on the spur of the moment. It was an all day thing.
Do I deserve a life better than this? Of course I do and so does everyone else.
I gave him a choice......one I may not win, but then again, I did not ask him to totally quit, I just asked him to attempt to go longer than he was....and or NOT make a date with his pipe ahead of time.
Anvilhead...or shall I bow and call you Ms. Cheesehead
your story gives me hope. I know this is going to be hard and I know I am not done crying, but I also know I'm not a quitter and now doesn't seem the time for me to quit, it seems the time for me to be firm.
Hahaha...Yea, he tried to convince me that it would be really cool if I did it with him ( remember I did do it a few times a couple of years ago ) that I liked it then and it would be sooo much better
What I want to know is how to go about things from here.
I do not want to give up on him just yet......
He has come a very long way since he first smoked 10 years ago.....but he has not totally quit. I don't think there has been a good reason ( in his mind ) for him to. I'm know I'm not going to be a good reason either......i wish I was but I know better....so what do I do now?
Do I go no contact on him?
Is this it? Do I just go about my life as if he was never a part of it and hope he decides to pick the phone up and call me oneday?
Should I keep in contact with his mother and see if we can work together?
We both attend the same Church, have for several years now....do I go and sit elsewhere or would it be wrong to still sit with him and his parents? I know they love me and wish he'd change his ways but I don't think his Mom quite understands everything.
So where exactly do I go from here?
I've been reading and printing up everything I can find and I know that may not be good enough, but there are several things in my life that I need to take care of so I can put to use this extra time alone for good things.
Sorry if I'm babbling and not writing coherent sentences ... my mind is all over the place.
You all have been great help and tonight I shall try to visit everyone and read up..