we knew you could do it!!! i know what that selfish vs taking care of me feels like too. i read somewhere maybe in one of the little al-anon books about learning how to take care of me from the way the A does. As selfish and self centered as many seem to be, i did look at the way they took care of themselves and learned how to do some of that for myself (although i did not resort to protecting my "toxic stash"!) for as self-less as most codies are is offset by the A's self-ish ness. and funny when they start calling us selfish! hahahahahaha.