I don't think you've done anything wrong here, and I understand the feeling of having high expectations. I think you're wise to proceed cautiously, and IF by chance he has truly grown, and you still love the person he is, and you guys both want it, you can proceed again with a relationship. And if he doesn't want to, or if you get the sense he hasn't really changed after all, even though it will hurt like hell, remind yourself that you dodged a bullet. After all, even in the best case scenario, you will still have to remain cautious for most of your life, and still have some fairly heavy burdens to shoulder. j