Ive never been around crack users before,Although a friend of mine seems to atract them and hers do anything for it, even trade sex for it. he certainly doesnt fit the bill of what i imagined . he wouldnt steal or any of that stuff, he is very honest about it.
Ive spoken to his former GF & she knows it well, but seems to think that i got somewhere with him that she was unable to..to find what must be the root of the problem..sexual abuse from his father.
I know i cant make him stop, and tried my hardest not to enable him ..the only thing i was doing is driving him to his crack dealer..becuase if i didnt he was going to drive there himself, in blackout drunk condition. he has enough DUI's that if he gets caught now, its 5 years mandatory, which means he wont get out until he is 50 & i felt i was possibly preventing him from killing self or some innocent family on the road by doing the driving myself.
He didnt want me to bring him, i had to be pretty attiment about it, he dont want me to see him like that. I know he IS and thinks hes doing me a big favor by pushing me away..but even though its only been 7 months, he is the love of my life, it took me a long time to find what we "had" .
He has been on what he calls "a roll" for 3.5mths now. The money is almost gone & luckily his crakr buddies dont share ..im sitting here with my fingers crossed thinking its going to be over anytime now..when he was sober he told me that he stops when the moneys gone & he hits bottom ..well..i thought this was bottom ..but maybe theres worse ??.
Bottom line is, what we have when hes sober is worth dealing with this, but i need to figure out how to deal better. Ive never been in a relationship with a substance abuser , so its new territory for me. I myself am an addict..but a food addict..but have somehow managed to just about beat it over the past 2 years ..i guess by realizing it was an addiction & to treat it that way. So i understand what hes going through, becuase my addiction is harder, you HAVE to eat & see food commercials ..ect..you dont NEED crack/booze to stay alive...