macgirl

ok lets see, im new here.
I started dating the most wonderful guy ive ever met in august, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic & that once in a while when he was drinking that he would use crack.
well, 3.5 mths into the relationship he started drinking, I knew it wasnt a good idea, but it didnt seem like a problem & there was nothing i could do about it. So the drinking would be on friday nites. Then the drinking moved on to be maybe 2 nites a week & progressed even worse so that hed be so drunk I couldnt belive it.
About 2 months ago I woke up in the middle of the night & he was gone, and dint come back until late morning..he was honest and said when he gets really drunk, he wants "a hit" ..well i had never been around crack & had no idea how bad it was.
So to cut out the middle stuff, it progressed..and his personality started changing, i noticed that when he had an all niter craking, he would call me & break up with me..well i wasnt having that..i love this man so much.
so i been dealing with the every 2 week breakups & so on..and knew that he was getting ready to hit bottom..i thought ..how much wose can this get.
So about 2.5 weeks ago it really got bad, he started using every other day & he went from the nicest guy you can imagine to this mean person who i can hardly recognize, constantly calling me saying "im a crackhead drunk loser, you dont want me ..goodbye"..well i wasnt willing to accept that.
He usually makes really good money & alot of cash in his line of work, well he got laid off for a few weeks, but still had some side jobs for the money.
I go over there like usual on friday nite & he tells me to get out or hes calling the police (we had never even had a fight ever) and says he never loved me..ect..just get out. It took me a while to leave, and a car pulls up with a female ..well i find out its one of his dealers..these people know he has money & they prey on him..call him to tempt him constantly , even the non dealers..they use him for the crack, then steal when hes passed out & leave him with nothing. he hasnt paid any of his bills, everytihngs gonna be shut off or cancelled (good, the sooner the better). he has these dirtbags hanging around the house, its gone to hell & is so filthy & his poor puppy is being neglected.
He stopped sleeping with me a month ago(he has ED when he drunk/cracking), he is letting himself go & barely showers..but still i love this man..i wish i didnt.
So now its been 5 days, since he refuses to see me, first i got mean text messages, then sat nite he was at least communicating..but dont want to see me & yesterday same thing.
The last time i was there, he was so messed up from the crack & booze i was readt to call an ambulance, the whites of his eyes went yellow.
Im worried hes going to be dead or drive blackout drunk & kill someone or himself. I dont want to be broken up, his normal pattern is about 2months of party, then maybe 2 years sober..but according to his family, this is worst ever, hes never done crack this much.
I feel helpless here, id he was "normal" he wouldnt be treating me like this & i cant even see him, he wont allow it. I dont know what to do here..i want to be with him