I recognize those crazy feelings. Welcome to this site. You'll find a lot of crazies here. I think one of the first things we need to do is accept that you cannot change your husbands addiction. And he's not going to quit using until he's ready to quit. That will free up your energy to focus on you and the steps you need to take so you don't feel crazy anymore. Boundaries are a big one. Determine what you value in life and how you expect to be treated, and then make a list of what your personal boundaries are and how you will respond if someone violates them. Enforcing the boundaries is a tough one for lots of people. So don't set boundaries that you aren't capable of enforcing. You'll get there eventually.
You may want to check out an alanon meeting or a naranon meeting. The face to face support can be very helpful.
In the meantime keep reading and posting here. (((hugs)))