Welcome. You are not crazy... unless the rest of us are too. There are many of us with very similar experiences here. The ESH you will find is powerful. IMO...take good care of you. Start with tiny steps. Coming here is a HUGE one and you may not know it now, but you are already moving forward and helping yourself. Start to reach out to those around you. It may be difficult, but again, IMO, you will be amazed at the love and support you will find. Go slow and at your pace. It took a long time to get where you are and it won't change in an instant.
Again, welcome. Read around. Check us out and keep coming back you are on your way to a new you.